2001

My mum passed away on 23^rd of April 2001 at around 7am. We now had to arrange for the burial. She really looked different after a few days in the Mortuary. I chose her dress and the color of her coffin to be white. We boarded the Hearse bus and were on our way to her home in upcountry. 

We were fine until we reached our home town. The whole village seemed to have been expecting us because we heard wails as we approached the homestead. It brought tears to our eyes and now the whole bus was wailing. According to tradition, the coffin was placed just outside her house. 

We sat up until late as the grave diggers finished their job and we set up a tent for a service the next day. The following day, May 5^th 2001, we had a service conducted by one of the pastors who led a church she attended. We viewed the body for the last time and the journey to the grave begun. The distance was approximately 2 meters but it seemed like 100m. People sang funeral songs as the coffin was being placed in the grave. We had to place flowers in the grave as the children and I remember a thorn from the bouquet got stuck on my dress so I was struggling to get it out as they waited for me. I finally placed mine in then we threw in some soil and allowed the grave diggers to finish their job.

We went to the house and as usual there was alcohol as my relatives got drunk. My grandmother was very devastated. She kept wailing for a while before she was escorted back to her homestead. I had to come back to Nairobi immediately since school had resumed.

School was not easy for a few days as everyone would offer their condolence. I would break down once in a while but I tried to be strong. A classmate had also lost her brother during that holiday so it was really hard for us but we pulled through.

I now had to move to Pamela’s as she was paying my fees and I needed change. I thought the grass would be greener since our mother had passed on. I also had no one to run to when I needed to unwind from the hard times at Susan’s place. Grace opted to stay behind though. Life at Pamela’s was different. Her first born daughter, Christine and the second born son Nick were older than me and the last born Dickson was younger than me by two years. We were both in high school. She also lived with my cousin called Jacob who was very quiet and the youngest. Their house was much bigger and they ate a lot of food, well quite a variety compared to what I was used to. Her husband was very loving and the children loved him.

Pamela was loud and very authoritative. She never took time to talk to her family live alone me. She got angry very quickly, rarely smiled or joked. One thing that reminded me of my mum, she was an alcoholic. She would go out over the weekend and come back home late when we have all slept.

 She worked in Arusha Tanzania, with the UN and travelled every weekend back to Kenya.

Once she took us for holiday in Arusha. I was very excited. We stayed at her house. It was me, Dickson and Jacob. The husband later joined us there. We took walks, spent our Christmas there, and ate a lot of roasted and fried chicken. I still remember the taste of it like it was yesterday.

See you soon Mum

The nurses decided to evict me from the room and said that i should come less often. Their argument was that they could manage well without my help and I needed to go back to school. I was adamant and they had no option but to allow me to stay. My routine continued, I stay with mum the whole day and night, in the morning I go back home, shower, change, prepare her porridge and am back to the hospital. Her room was on 10^th floor, private wing. I entertained myself with the Television. I also talked to her on and off just to keep her talking.

Her room had only one couch so I was given a blanket and I would sleep on the couch or on the floor. I used to take the cushions from the couch and place them on the floor, it was more comfortable. On this particular day, as I finished cleaning my mum’s bathroom, I forgot to tighten the tap. We slept and in the morning the room was flooded with water. The nurses were so upset, and that was the last time I slept in my mum’s room.

I would carry my homework in the room and catch up on my studies too. There was a time people came to the room to pray for my mum. They used to go from room to room praying for patients. When they asked her is she was born again, she said she had received Jesus as her personal savior some time back while in upcountry. The time she got born again she had called us in Nairobi and was so excited. I remembered buying her an English bible since she had one in mother tongue. I had also bought her a book mark. I was very excited. They still prayed for her and she got born again, again. At least now I was sure her soul would live on for eternity.

Her wounds were still being changed and her condition seemed worse by the day but I never lost hope. Once we took her for an X-ray that showed signs of cancer. The doctor later told us that she had Pancreatic Cancer but we were not to tell her. She was to be taken in for surgery. Uncle Jim, who was a doctor, got a few doctors that he knew to work on her.

When the surgery was over the doctor called my uncle and sisters and told them that it was successful. They went out drinking to celebrate that night. I was up the next morning with the routine to take her from ICU and back to her room. When I reached the hospital, one nurse told me to wait until they called my sisters. I waited patiently as I did my school work. The waiting became too long but I never felt suspicious.

Suddenly Susan appeared and looked disoriented. Her eyes were blood shot and that’s when it hit me. She told me they could not tell me because I was too young. We were allowed to enter the ICU and see my mum but we were to remove our shoes because ICU was a very sensitive unit. We walked to my mum’s bed where she had been covered with a white sheet. We unveiled it and just stared at her. I was still on denial. She seemed to be asleep. My sister broke down and we were quickly removed from the ICU. It dawned on me slowly and I was walking while tears trickled down. We went back to her room to clear her things.