It would be over, or so i thought!

I joined high school, which I will go back and elaborate on it later. The distance was further than the primary school so I did a lot of walking. I had a cousin who lived next to the school so sometimes I would pass by his place for lunch or he would give me some pocket money to buy a few things of my own. He was really nice.

On this particular day, I was from Saturday tuition. As usual I passed by his place. He introduced me to his girlfriend and we clicked immediately. He gave me some cash, the usual drill and I was off. When I reached home, my sister inquired why I was late. I innocently said the truth that I had passed by Cousin Caleb’s house. A heap of laundry was waiting for me. I changed my clothes to a brief short and a vest to wash the clothes, which was everyone’s laundry, only to realize that my sister had gone to get the cane to beat me.

Her problem was that I was getting money from my cousin and I was passing by his place. Why would that be a problem? I honestly could not understand and so I took in the whooping and cried my heart out. The beating was so painful because I was in a short and vest. It became hard to wash the clothes because of the pain but I had no option. 

As a nurse, my sister kept a lot of medication in her room and it was accessible but we made sure the children could not get to it. Immediately she left, I went to her room, took 2 tablets of all the medication she had and swallowed with some liquid medication she had. I had purposed to end my life because I was tired. I confidently finished washing knowing I was almost dying, but the Lord had another plan. I slept and woke up as fit as a fiddle.

Another time, I tried the same but with sleeping pills almost 20 tablets. That night I was 100% sure and so before I slept that night, I said goodbye to Grace, the house help and my niece. They did not understand why I said that but I was not going to give them a reason. I gave them advice and encouraged them, as we were all in bed before we all said goodnight and switched off the lights. When I woke up in the morning I knew I was in heaven. No one had told me that suicide is a one way ticket to hell so I knew I was in heaven only to hear the voice of my sister. By then I knew for sure she could not be in heaven with me and thus reality hit me, earth it was. Life continued as usual.